Step 1: Practice in the real world first

Design and print plenty of flyers, with lots of powerful emotional appeals to the reader’s greed, laziness, desperation, ignorance and gullibility. Emphasize that there’s NO time, effort or discipline involved — they’ll be rich overnight, their upline will do all the work for them (and all that other usual FIRST Generation MLM horsefeathers).

When that’s done, hire a power megaphone, grab your flyers, then head to the nearest pub on a packed Friday night, when there are plenty of people having a great time socializing.

As soon as you arrive, muscle your way in, then begin spruiking your MLM opportunity at full volume, while cornering people and forcing your flyers on them. Write down any appointments, names and contact details you can extract from them.

Next day, Saturday (and Sunday), head for the nearest park where families and groups of friends are gathered for barbecues, picnics and generally having a great time together. Repeat the process — broadcast your MLM opportunity at the top of your lungs, then stalk individuals and groups to get them to take your flyers and extract their names and contact information, so you can pester them for weeks to come.

Step 2: Take it online (it’s safer!)

Once you’ve made bail and your injuries heal, move online to social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, MySpace and others. Spam the boards, make as many fans and friends as possible, then spam them mercilessly until they put you on ignore or report you for abuse. Don’t give your upline any reason to label you a loser or a quitter!

Step 3: Vent your frustration, then quit.

After weeks and months of repetition of these experiences, it will be time to throw in the towel and quit. Complain to anyone who’ll listen that MLM doesn’t work, and that online recruiting is useless. Discourage as many people as you can.

Congratulations… you’re now qualified to wear a t-shirt or baseball cap bearing the proud title…

(PS: Don’t forget to wear your baseball cap back-to-front. It will remove any remaining illusion of an IQ after your prospecting antics have demonstrated so clearly that your IQ is similar to your shoe size in the first place.)

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Author Profile  Consults to managements of direct selling companies, small business and home business owners. Writes regular columns and feature articles for various business media, online and offline. Author of several best-selling business books. Presents seminars and workshops, webinars and other training programs. Creator of Fourth Generation Thinking, Selling, Business Systems. Read more from this author

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